Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
