maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
