I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
