Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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