Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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