He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize