girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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