I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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