I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
