I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just had sex on a roof
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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