Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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