Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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