the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
