Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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