I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
