I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
