does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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