did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
