So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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