Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
