pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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