id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
