i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize
