wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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