I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
