We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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