Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize