We need to rekindle our bromance
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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