Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
