She announced her abortion via fbk
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize