Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Congratulations! We have a period
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
