Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
