i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
tell me about the eggs
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