Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize