We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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