can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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