OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All the doctor said was why
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
