gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
