I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
