47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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