My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
