I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
