this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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