Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
