just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
