he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
