I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
