we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Panties = found
PANTIES FOUND
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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