The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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