He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize