hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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