There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
