I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
last night I used snow as a chaser
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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