someone get that fucking seahorse.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
