found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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