Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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