i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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