We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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