god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize