The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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