So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize