k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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