I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
