Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize