i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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