i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bring me that man meat
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
