This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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